Eureka!

There are moments in our lives, when all that we ponder suddenly makes sense, and we have a Eureka moment. After weeks and days of observation, deliberation and over analysis ( daphne , over analyse? why i never..) As i sipped a cold crisp glass of wine and watched the sunset, all that had confused me suddenly made sense. He was pushing me, so he would not let any emotional expectations ruin the dyanamic of our relationship/ friendship.
Why repeatedly remind me that he was not able to be in a committed relationship, often at the most unneccesary moments? I had never given him any pressure, and he had always actively sought my company. I was the one who would always turn around and run from him. Even if I felt a twinge of sadness as we sat with our feet in the cold water of the princess diana memorial, the sun beating down on our faces, because there seemed to be so little passion in our pseudo relationship, I never attempted to push him to show more affection. Perhaps this is him. He did things to show he cared. He would brave the steps to the cafe to buy me my diet coke, write my referral letter late into the night and risk starvation so we could dine at the same time. This is him. Words are words, as I had seen from my italian admirer. His ardent declarations of love were just that. Words. He never followed through, never lived up to his promises.

So then i realised. I wasnt the one who needed convincing. For even if we would only be together in the way are now, I am happy. There is little risk of me falling desperately and crazily in love, so why worry? Suddenly, my eyes are open, my mind is clear, and I let myself feel. Coz i know how he feels.
EUREKA! I GOT IT!

ps the sun was amazing this weekend. Worked hard on my tan and my drinking skills. The tan was a success, but the drinking capacity leaves much to be desired!